It has been one week since my sister and niece moved to Ireland. Even more upsetting? They legalized weed in Colorado the day before she left. It w . . .
Mike put me on a budget. Wait, it gets funnier. I actually have to explain what I am spending money on not just to Mike but to an accountant whom I . . .
I was sitting outside freezing my ass off in the middle of the night waiting for my puppy to whiz when I glanced up at the sky and thought about what . . .
Me: I am going to find new homes for Vinnie and Pearl. I am the ONLY thirty-four year old woman I know that has pet lizards. The kids have NOTHING t . . .
My children went back to school a few weeks ago. I had been counting down the nanoseconds for this day since the end of June. In fact, when I took t . . .
A few days ago I took my kids to the park and they discovered the remains of a raccoon that had obviously been shanked by some gang member coyotes. M . . .
Before we get to this week’s happenings, I want to discuss something very serious and entirely disturbing with you. I recently discovered a picture o . . .
On our first wedding anniversary I poured my heart and soul (although hollowed, I still have one. Bite me) into a card for Mike. I then waited with . . .
A few weeks ago we were having dinner when the neighbor kids from down the street rang the doorbell. They asked if my daughters could spend the night . . .
Welcome to newly renovated ErinSays. It is fabulous isn’t it? Now before we get to the skinny of the past couple weeks there are some people I need . . .
During Easter brunch at my house this year, my mom told us she had to go to the emergency room when she was nineteen years old for severe stomach pain . . .
Last weekend, God once again ordered me to complete a three day community service stint at Disneyland as my penance for lighting fires and drowning ki . . .
Eew, the grossest thing ever happened to me last week. I ordered five hundred U.S. dollars worth of clothes from Lands’ End because I go back to work . . .
I am like sooooooooooo over flu season. Ugh, it is a filthy world. Do not touch anything. Ever. I learned this the hard way a couple weeks ago whe . . .
It is Steve Jobs fault that I now own a cat. Last week I went into my daughter’s room and made the astute observation that her pet lizard, Pearl, had . . .
I don’t want to make you feel even worse about yourself if you are a shitty parent, but I fucking kill it as a mom. My daughters are cool chicks. I . . .
Roller skates were first patented by Belgium inventor John Joseph Merlin in 1760. Three hundred and fifty years later people are still fucking themse . . .
I used to feel sorry for people with Celiac’s disease. Not anymore. I accidentally bought a bag of gluten-free ginger snaps and they are pretty much . . .
Last Monday was the Justin Bieber concert in Denver. Holy.Pubescent.Pandemonium. My daughters were absolutely beside themselves, I was laughing hyst . . .
Last Thursday was the big trip to Las Vegas with Grandma. My aunt made all the travel arrangements since I have a tendency to book flights based on r . . .
You know how Mike has claimed that my Shih Tzu is the “stupidest dog on earth” well it turns out he was wrong, it is my Yorkie!!! HAHAHAHA FACE MIKE. . . .
Yesterday I woke to find numerous text messages on my phone regarding a close friend that was seriously ill and wondering if I could help. I jumped o . . .
I do not kill bugs or spiders. In fact, there is a little spider currently residing in my office and I am just going to let her stay for the winter. . . .
I recently received an inquiry regarding my feelings on the world allegedly coming to an end later this month. Since I am always the last to know whe . . .
Me: I can only assume your silence pertaining to this matter is your angled attempt to see if I accidentally forgot about Christmas this year. Shock . . .
Mike and I have decided to start dating again. Each other. Chill, we ain’t that socially liberal, I just read that courting your spouse can make bei . . .
The other night I was lying on my 7 year-old’s bedroom floor tossing a tennis ball up in the air while listening to strum her guitar and sing her spel . . .
Psychologist Alfred Adler theorized that childhood experiences affect our behavior and personality as adults. This is concerning considering I was le . . .
On Wednesday I am going to get a chemical peel on my face. I like to do this periodically so I can really appreciate how much my face doesn’t hurt on . . .
I may be deceased when you read this and if so, thank you all for reading it has been a pleasure writing for you. Mike left for his annual golf trip . . .
