I was outside planting flowers when my daughters informed me they were having a lemonade stand at the end of our driveway. Concerned that their proje . . .
Sorry I haven’t written in awhile. I tripped and fell over my elliptical while playing tag with my kid and blew out my knee. I started physical ther . . .
Last week my youngest daughter had her tonsils out. I was an absolute fucking wreck because she was with a world renown surgeon, in a really nice hos . . .
One of the four neighbors whom I actually like moved right before Thanksgiving. She needed some help moving some miscellaneous items like a propane ta . . .
A month ago, my precious, delish and hilarious mom fell and broke a rib and her leg which, ultimately required major surgery. Unfortunately, this ren . . .
A few nights ago, I received a text from my uncle. It was a picture of him and some cute chick in an awkward side-hug. Random. I took a picture of . . .
I was just skimming through the news and came across the Josh Duggar scandal. Wow Dude, it is a good thing Jesus apparently loves you because everyon . . .
I found a lump in my armpit. No. I have no idea why I was randomly touching my armpit; this part of the story is irrelevant. I made an appointment . . .
Today my daughters requested that I notify them prior to entering the basement when they are playing dolls. I narrowed my eyes at them. I know exact . . .
For those of you who have previously dismissed me as shallow and materialistic....you are still totally correct in your assessment. However, I recent . . .
I wanted to go to a Korean bathhouse so I could blog about it. I have a total domineering personality so, it was not terribly challenging for me to c . . .
I attribute my extraordinary sense of intuition to be the guiding force behind my countless successes in life. Case in point: Last month when I was . . .
I always knew I would grow up to marry a doctor or an oil magnate. I just never imagined I would actually love him. Oddly enough however, I freaking . . .
A few months ago, my mom purchased a pair of designer kittens. Even though I am really allergic to cats and the military previously inflicted torture . . .
North Korean Dictator, Kim Jung Un, finally resurfaced after he had been MIA for a few weeks. I called Crime Stoppers to tip them off that he was wor . . .
Mike recently staged an intervention after he discovered me cutting up antibiotics with a razor blade and snorting them off the toilet. He informed m . . .
*I rarely drink. *= I rarely drink except when I am trying to get pregnant (I legit prayed to God that my kids would not have big foreheads and even . . .
I recently went to Monterey for Mike’s family reunion. We were at the aquarium when my sister-in-law decided her baby needed to take a nap. I eagerl . . .
It has been two weeks since my mom’s cat, Mr. Whiskerpuss, passed away. My mom was utterly devastated, sooooo I took it upon myself to find her anoth . . .
Two days before Mike and I left for California to celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary, I decided to have a microderm and a “gentle” chemical peel . . .
It is a fair assessment to say that Mike and I are obsessed with each other. We are constantly kissing, groping and touching one another. We make ea . . .
I was outside planting flowers when my daughters informed me they were having a lemonade stand at the end of our driveway. Concerned that their proje . . .
My mom was cleaning my house yesterday (calm down, I pay her in cash) when a wave of nostalgia passed over her after she sprayed oven cleaner. She st . . .
Last Friday was the annual Father/Daughter Dance at my kids’ school. I was walking out the door after finishing my weekly obligatory “I have unresolv . . .
My 9-year-old was at her second violin lesson last Sunday when her teacher came out and informed Mike and I that our kid was feeling dizzy. We walked . . .
I recently ran into a woman I knew at the mall. We exchanged pleasantries and then she launched into how pissed she was that her husband gave her mon . . .
My pregnant friend, Mer, just sent me a text of herself at the OBGYN’s office. I texted her back that she needed to go study the poster of cervixes o . . .
I have recently learned my sister lives in the only house in all of Ireland that cannot obtain Internet service by “3 kilometers” (whatever the fuck t . . .
